Caffeine Causes Hallucinations

These look amazing. Truthfully, I haven’t made this recipe, I’ve always wanted to but I really can’t rationalize cooking something like this for just me. If you do make it, do tell me how they turned out.

It’s a bit of pandering to what’s trendy but they got me in my sweet spots, video games and food. So without further ado: Wii Party Food

Edit:

Adam tried the beef kabobs and gave them a positive review. finger friendly AND tasty.

Ok, the following is stolen, verbatim from this website. Their link has changed more than once and frankly I don’t trust the interwebs, they’re here now and may be gone tomorrow. I have added some of my own notes though.

How Competition Cooks Prepare Ribs

From the kitchen of Kevin Taylor, the BBQ Guru

First of all understand, we use “smokers” when we compete, but I will give directions for cooking ribs in the oven. The only thing missing will be that nice smoky flavor…that can be added by simply putting a small amount of liquid smoke into your sauce. My trick here, compensate and simply get them ALMOST cooked and then put them on an actual grill to finish.  Essentially, roughly 10 minutes before you would put the sauce on, move them to the grill.

The secret to GREAT ribs is to cook them at low temps for long periods of time. In competition, we cook all of our meats at 225 degrees F and it takes 6 hours for ribs, 10-12 hours for pork butts and up to 18 hours for brisket. Not to worry, I will show you how to do it in around 3 hours! You can really push this out, just lower the temp and you can get closer to the desired time. A really important factor though, buy an oven thermometer, don’t automatically trust the one built in.

First lets explode a few myths about ribs:

MYTH #1

The secret to great ribs is to boil them first!

WRONG!!!!…NEVER, EVER boil your ribs!!!! I don’t care what your mother taught you or what a famous chef on FoodTV did. NEVER, EVER BOIL!!

OK, let me explain what water does to meat. There is a certain degree of osmosis that takes place when you boil meat in water. This is accelerated if you use even a little bit of salt in the water or on the meat. In essence, what happens is…..the water goes in and the flavor of the meat goes out. If you doubt this, taste the water after you have boiled something in it. This is the whole concept behind making soup. So, when you boil your ribs, all that wonderful pork flavor comes out (notice how greasy the water is?)

Now, I do agree you will get a tender cut of meat. But, what does that meat taste like WITHOUT any rub or sauce. Does it look good?? Would you even eat it? If you were blindfolded, could you identify what type of meat it is? (Most people have failed this test!!). Next, a simple question…would you boil your steaks or burgers or chops? I will gladly share the secret to making tender AND flavorful ribs. BTW, a truly GREAT rib can be tested by using simply salt and pepper what is called a “dry” rib (a “wet” rib has sauce on it)! I suggest everyone try their ribs this way first - then start experimenting with various rubs and sauces.

MYTH #2

Boiling/steaming gets all the fat out.

WRONG!!!!!

Yes, it will get rid of SOME of the fat. But very rarely will it get rid of ALL the fat. This is the single biggest problem that folks still have with ribs even after boiling, there are still pockets of fat.

A quick technical lesson (for cocktail party banter!)…

Fat can only be rendered in a dry cooking environment over a long period of time and at low temperatures. Here is what happens…the meat must attain a temperature of 160 to 170 degrees F to start the fat rendering process. At these temps, the meat temperature will “plateau” - that is, it will stay at these temps for up to 2 hours on ribs and 4 and 5 hours on butts and briskets. What is happening is, the collagen (connective tissue) starts to break down…this process releases water, which in turn causes a cooling of the meat. So the temps stay steady. This collagen breakdown is what makes meat so tender.

Once this collagen completely breaks down, the temps will start to rise. It is this process that allows ALL of the fat to be rendered from a rib.

OK on with the lesson!! The night before you should choose your favourite rub…a combination of spices - and apply it to the ribs. Then wrap them in Saran Wrap and refrigerate overnight. Here is a very good rub I will share. Definitely do this! It makes a world of a difference to have it all done ahead of time.

1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 tablespoon white pepper.
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup paprika
I can vouch for this recipe, quite tasty,  it’s definitely a good start, nothing crazy going on here. Also, I’m cheap and opted not to buy white pepper, and it turned out just fine substituting in fresh ground black pepper instead. Honestly, I believe the store bought pre-ground stuff is a mixture of both varieties so odds are you’d be right on the mark with 2TB of the basic stuff.
Simply mix all the ingredients together. This may be a little hot for some folks, so simply cut down on the cayenne. It’s not honestly not hot at all, especially if you put a sauce on.

The day you are to cook, take the ribs out about 1 hour prior to cooking.

Heat your oven to 275 degrees F. If you have more time, you can set the oven at 250 degrees F, and it will take about 4 hours to do.

Place a cake pan of hot water on the lowest rack. You may need to add water to this near the end.
DO NOT FORGET THIS!!! absolutely crucial
Place the ribs in the oven bone side DOWN…you will NOT turn these over (this allows the fat to “travel” through the meat and leave all that flavor behind)!! Place them on a wire rack directly above the water pan and going in the same direction you want to catch any drippings in this water pan.

After 1 1/2 hours of cooking (NOT BEFORE!!), spritz or mop the ribs with a mixture of 3 parts apple juice and 1 part oil. Do this every 1/2 - 3/4 hour until done. I think I forgot to do this the last time I made them, couldn’t tell you for sure but if you’re feeling especially lazy you can probably skip this and get slightly less moist ribs.

To test for doneness, you can look at the bones and watch for the meat to pull back from the ends OR you can use the toothpick test insert a toothpick between the bones and if it goes through easily they are done.

Finally……ALWAYS apply any sauces 20 minutes prior to eating…this will avoid the sugars burning and turning black…and believe me, there is loads of sugar in every BBQ sauce!

That’s it! You’re done! Like I said, this whole process will take around 3-4 hours depending what temp you cook at. It may take a little practice to get to your desired doneness, but, hey, that’s half the fun!!

Moroccan Chicken with Lemon&Olives

For this recipe, don’t include the cinnamon, it’s honestly rather strange that it’s included. Tumeric is nice, but not crucial. If you don’t have pickeled lemons cooking it for longer & slower with regular lemon skin is also good, although use a little less than what’s called for and you may not want to actually eat them in the finished product. They turn out a little bitter, it is skin afterall, but they add an important flavor.  Add the cumin roughly an hour or so before it’s all done. You don’t need parsley, just cilantro and add it in the beginning with onions etc. otherwise it’s far too powerful (no stems! just chopped leaves). Be careful with the olives you pick, the important thing is that they are not too sour. Finally, low and slow is crucial to this recipe, they call for only 30 more minutes of cooking (at the end) but I prefer to lower the heat much further and cook for up 2 hours if I can.

Herb & Garlic Roast Chicken

That recipe is a solid base. If you’re looking to be a little more healthy substituting olive oil for butter works well. Also, don’t get any ideas about using dried herbs in this recipe. When it comes to putting shit inside, personally, I’m lazy and settle for just an onion that I’ve scored a bit. Assuming I’m not doing it beercan style.
A note on beercan chicken; based on this site it seems that beer is entirely unneeded and doesn’t actually change the flavour at all. If you’re unfamiliar with beercan chicken visit that site and you should understand what I’m talking about. It is definitely one of the best ways to make chicken.

People love big numbers, even when they’re told they’re meaningless.

The best, is a previous study on the subject.

“Participants were given a choice between a short proofreading task that would award 60 points and a longer proofreading task that would award 100 points and were told that 60 points would entitle them to a serving of vanilla ice cream and 100 points would entitle them to an equally large serving of pistachio ice cream. Most participants opted for the longer task. But when asked later which flavor they would enjoy more, most favored the vanilla ice cream.”

Guess where this guy went to school. MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY!

oh yeah, that’s right.